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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Gen Z, a demographic who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's response is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal traits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your choice to date a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {