Not having the time of your life at college? You are not the only one.
Robert Medhurst passed the majority of his first week at university browsing through digital networks, reading posts about peers enjoying evenings out.
"I was just in bed," Robert remembers, depicting those days as the most solitary phase of his life.
The people he lived with didn't go out much, and his program didn't seem particularly social.
Despite putting himself out there by attending trial events for different clubs, he couldn't find his people.
"I started to lose my self-esteem," he says. "I felt like people didn't want to be friends with me, or they didn't appreciate me."
Social Media Comparisons
Initially, Robert had no intention of studying at university and had a job offer for post-secondary education.
Yet he saw his friends having great fun as students on Instagram.
"When you need to wake up for work on Thursday at 9:00 and you observe peers partied on midweek, you do start thinking the grass is greener," Robert mentions.
University Expectations
Media content and digital networks can romanticize the concept of college existence.
Lots of people begin university with strong assumptions for what they believe could be the greatest period of their lives.
Certain attendees arrive at college with "idealistic views," says a counselling manager.
Survey Findings
- According to research of new students initially, students' biggest concern was belonging and finding acceptance
- In another survey conducted by analysts, 17% of students said they lacked friendships at university
- 37% said they felt anxious regularly about building relationships
Personal Experiences
Another student's TikTok feed was filled with content of peers socializing while sharing accommodation in student houses.
But when she relocated from London to Sheffield to study journalism, she found freshers' week "daunting" because of the substance involvement it involved.
She avoids drinking and had never been clubbing before.
"I did spend considerable time initially in my room," she says. "I merely sensed somewhat isolated."
Psychological Aspects
According to recent research of numerous undergraduate students, 29% said they contemplated dropping out.
The most common reason was their mental and emotional health, succeeded by economic considerations.
"Concern over all of these different things is massively common, and expected," notes a counselling expert.
Discovering Answers
With time, all three individuals eventually adapted and developed friendships.
She formed relationships during classes and using online platforms, while Christina felt happier after being able to relocate with companions.
Useful Suggestions
For Robert, now 24 and in his last year, it was engaging in performance groups and employment during studies that supported social connection.
His recommendation to beginning learners struggling to socialize is to just "get out of your room" and participate in group trial sessions.
"Following several weeks of continuous participation, people recognise your face," he explains, "you become familiar with them, and relationships start developing."
